As online dating becomes increasingly popular, the use of artificial intelligence (AI) in matchmaking is becoming more widespread. But with great convenience comes great concern – can relying on chatbots to facilitate conversations truly foster deep connections?
Rachel, a 36-year-old business owner, recently tested this theory when she met someone through the Hinge app. Their digital conversation flowed easily at first, but upon meeting in person, Rachel found that her match seemed flat and lacked the quick wit they’d shared online.
“I felt like I was sitting opposite someone I’d never even spoken to,” she says. “I tried to have the same sort of conversation as we’d been having online, but it was like ‘Knock, knock, is anyone home?’ – like he knew basically nothing about me.”
Rachel’s experience highlights a growing trend among daters: using AI tools like ChatGPT to help craft messages and build connections. While some see this as a convenient shortcut, others believe it undermines the authenticity of online interactions.
On one hand, AI can provide valuable insights into attachment styles, interests, and personality traits that might be difficult to gauge through traditional means. For example, Holly, a 28-year-old social worker, uses ChatGPT to help her write messages that sound clear and concise, particularly when discussing sensitive topics like emotions and conflicts.
“I feel like I can strike the right balance between honesty and tact,” she says. “And it helps me sound kinder when I’m angry.”
On the other hand, relying too heavily on AI-generated content can lead to a lack of genuine connection. Jamil, a 25-year-old IT professional, admits that he’s caught out using ChatGPT more often now that his matches are becoming savvy to its use.
“I think the golden age of just letting it do all your messaging has passed,” he says.
Experts like Paul C Brunson agree that while AI can be a helpful tool, it shouldn’t replace human interaction entirely. “There’s no shortcut to connection,” he advises. “Dating apps should more accurately be called ‘introduction apps’, as they’re really designed to bring people together, not build relationships.”
Ultimately, the use of AI in online dating raises questions about vulnerability, intimacy, and authenticity. As we become increasingly reliant on digital tools to navigate our romantic lives, it’s essential to consider whether these conveniences come at a cost.
“I thought I’d found the perfect man,” says Rachel, who was initially swept away by her match’s charms before discovering that their messages had shifted towards more AI-generated content. “But after that date, things changed – and I realized I wasn’t even talking to him anymore.”
As we move forward in our digital age, it’s crucial to strike a balance between the benefits of technology and the importance of genuine human connection.
Source: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/oct/12/chatgpt-ed-into-bed-chatfishing-on-dating-apps