Family estrangement has been framed as a recent trend, but this framing can be misleading and ignores the deeper issues that lead to it. Research shows that estrangement often follows long-standing patterns of abuse, invalidation, or chronic boundary violations. In studies, adult children cited harmful behavior, emotional abuse, or lack of empathy as reasons for cutting ties with parents, while mothers often attributed ruptures to external factors.
This framing shifts the focus from the circumstances preceding estrangement to justifying the choice of those who have made it. It puts the burden on those making a difficult decision, asking why they are leaving, rather than what happened that led them to do so. Estrangement is not a new phenomenon, but often an act of survival when other attempts at communication or counseling fail.
Instead of focusing on estrangement as a trend, we should acknowledge the unaddressed trauma, emotional neglect, and dysfunctional family systems that push people to choose distance as their only choice. By shifting the narrative, we can work towards creating more supportive environments where people feel safe to address underlying issues and prioritize their well-being.
Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-science-of-stuck/202512/the-dangers-of-calling-family-estrangement-a-trend