High-functioning people often excel in careers, families, and friendships due to their calm composure and problem-solving skills. However, this competence can also create a sense of emotional isolation, as they may not be willing or able to acknowledge and share their feelings with others.
This phenomenon is rooted in the concept of strong top-down control, where the prefrontal cortex regulates emotional responses efficiently, allowing individuals to adapt and respond effectively. While this skill helps them navigate uncertainty and thrive in high-pressure situations, it can also lead to a lack of connection and intimacy.
When high-functioning people suppress their emotions and regulate their nervous systems on their own, they may unintentionally create distance with others. This is because emotional signals are consistently dampened before being expressed or hidden, making it challenging for others to respond and form connections.
To bridge this gap, Stoic philosophy emphasizes the importance of empathy and permeability. Practicing regulation in an open and vulnerable manner allows individuals to face their emotions without losing themselves. It involves accepting and acknowledging feelings, even if they are uncomfortable, and sharing them with trusted confidants.
By recognizing the value of emotional expression and connection, high-functioning individuals can break down the barriers that prevent them from forming meaningful relationships. It is essential to acknowledge that strength is not about control but about facing uncertainty with vulnerability and openness.
Reference:
– James J. Gross & Brett Q. Ford (Eds.), Handbook of Emotion Regulation, Third Edition, Guilford Publications, New York, NY, 2024.
– Mary Ainsworth, Mary Blehar, Everett Waters, Sally Wall, Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation, Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 1978.
– Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, circa 170–180 CE, Book 2.1.
– Epictetus, Discourses, Fragments, Handbook, translated by Robin Hard, Oxford University Press, Oxford, 2014.
Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-stoic-heart-the-human-whole/202602/why-high-functioning-people-might-feel-alone