Anyone who knows me can tell you: I’m usually the one to take charge. But if you find yourself always making plans, sending texts, and doing emotional heavy lifting for your friends without getting much back, it can start to feel unfair and even lonely.
As a therapist says, maintaining a friendship requires effort from both people. If you’re doing all the work while your friend is not putting in equal effort, it’s natural to end up feeling drained and resentful.
Here are five signs that may indicate your friend doesn’t value the relationship as much as you do:
1. They never call or text first.
If you always initiate contact and they rarely respond without prompting, their silence might show who’s really holding the connection together.
2. They rely on you for help with their problems, but you never get support for yours.
When someone only vents to you about their own issues without listening to yours, it could mean they’re using you as their on-call therapist.
3. They only see you when it’s convenient for them.
If your friend only invites you out or makes time for you when it’s easy for them, but not when it requires effort from you, it may indicate a lack of mutual effort in the friendship.
4. They make time for everyone else, but not for you.
If someone consistently shows up for their other friends and acquaintances, but not for you, it might signal an lopserved friendship, but not.
Get more of SELF’s great journalism delivered right to your inbox-for free. Related:
Source: https://www.self.com/story/one-sided-friendship