When Kathleen Brigham and her ex-husband decided to divorce, they proposed an unconventional solution: letting their three children stay put while taking turns living with them. The arrangement, known as “birdnesting,” aims to reduce disruption in children’s lives during the most stressful time of a split.
Brigham said it was about softening the blow for her kids, not about her and her ex-husband. Before nesting, they set strict rules for shared issues like punctuality, cleanliness, and personal space. The arrangement wasn’t easy, but Brigham believed it helped her children adjust to their new life.
Family therapist Ann Gold Buscho agrees that nesting can work if approached with care and cooperation. She’s seen success with the practice in her own divorce and has helped numerous clients navigate it. Buscho emphasizes communication is key, including sorting out details like house conditions, bills, and how to communicate.
Some couples find creative ways to nest, such as renting a room or using an Airbnb. Lori Badach and her ex-husband have been nesting since their children were 13 and 10 years old. They’ve maintained trust despite being separated and still celebrate holidays together.
However, nesting isn’t for everyone. Divorces can be emotionally charged, and sharing space can lead to sabotage. Experts caution that the arrangement should only last a few months under strict rules.
Despite potential pitfalls, birdnesting has helped some families adjust to their new reality. For Brigham, it made a huge difference for her children, allowing them to “just be.” As she’s seen firsthand, nesting can be an unconventional but effective solution for divorced parents looking to prioritize their kids’ well-being during a challenging time.
Source: https://www.washingtonpost.com/home/2025/07/09/birdnesting-co-parenting-divorce