For many, the pandemic has been a time of isolation and introspection. But one Oregon resident’s experience with a crow family serves as a stark reminder of the dangers of holding grudges. A story on an internet forum about feeding crows sparked a 15-strong crow family to become fiercely protective of their leader’s property, attacking anyone who came near.
Crows are notorious for being prodigious grudge-holders, and research has shown that they can pass on their hostility to subsequent generations. In fact, a study by John Marzluff, a professor at the University of Washington, found that crows continue to attack him even 17 years after his initial encounter with them.
This phenomenon is particularly alarming because it suggests that holding grudges can be contagious and all-consuming, often to our own detriment. The consequences of this can be dire, as seen in the author’s own experience when their mother suffered a heart attack while nursing a lifelong rage towards her ex-husband.
The problem with grudges lies not just in the harm they cause others, but also in the ways they consume and define us. A multigenerational grudge can become an identity trap, leaving us dependent on our enemies and unable to move forward.
Fortunately, there is a glimmer of hope. Research suggests that short-term grudges can have a motivational effect, particularly among athletes. However, it’s only when these grudges become all-consuming and long-lasting that they become a problem.
A solution lies in acknowledging the complexities of human emotions and allowing ourselves space to re-evaluate our relationships. As one crow expert put it, feeding crows is not just about rewarding good behavior but also about providing an opportunity for them to divide their loyalty among multiple households.
This story serves as a reminder that grudges can be deadly, both to others and to ourselves. By recognizing the dangers of holding grudges and allowing ourselves space to grow, we may yet find forgiveness – and freedom from the toxic cycle of resentment.
Source: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/nov/03/mother-grudge-animal-kingdom