When it comes to building strong relationships, many people think they need a variety of strategies, such as setting boundaries or negotiating. However, cultivating curiosity can be the key to effectively understanding others and enhancing performance in almost any social endeavor.
Research has shown that curiosity is linked to less aggressive responses, allowing for more productive interactions. It also opens us up to gather what we and others may be thinking or feeling at any given moment, a phenomenon known as mentalization, which is essential when relating to others.
In addition, curiosity correlates with greater levels of intimacy even in minor interactions. Even in relationships where most interactions have been hostile, curiosity can allow us to respond more effectively by suspending judgment and preconceptions, and exploring anyway.
To begin building curiosity, start with small steps such as asking a question about someone’s tattoo, taking an extra moment to listen to someone’s stories, or getting a sense of another person’s stance before rejecting it. By doing so, we give ourselves the best chance to relate effectively to each other.
References:
Drozek, R. P. (2018). Stimulating Reflection and Curiosity. Borderline Personality Disorder: A Case-Based Approach, 11-23.
Gallagher, M. W., & Lopez, S. J. (2007). Curiosity and well-being. The journal of positive psychology, 2(4), 236-248.
Kashdan, T. B., DeWall, C. N., Pond, R. S., Silvia, P. J., Lambert, N. M., Fincham, F. D., & Keller, P. S. (2013). Curiosity protects against interpersonal aggression: Cross-sectional, daily process, and behavioral evidence. Journal of Personality, 81(1), 87-102.
Kashdan, T. B., McKnight, P. E., Fincham, F. D., & Rose, P. (2011). When curiosity breeds intimacy: Taking advantage of intimacy opportunities and transforming boring conversations. Journal of personality, 79(6), 1369-1402.
Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/blog/beyond-mental-health/202407/2-most-important-tools-to-improve-any-relationship