Eldest daughters often feel like they’re shouldering a heavy burden, taking care of family responsibilities from a young age. This can lead to over-responsibility, perfectionism, and an inability to ask for help.
According to therapists, eldest daughters tend to “feel overly responsible for their family of origin.” They may carry the mental load, managing tasks like getting birthday gifts or making sure siblings wish parents a happy anniversary. These expectations can generalize to other relationships, leading to feelings of over-responsibility at work and in personal life.
This pressure can stem from societal norms that expect girls and women to be more emotionally attuned and caregivers. As the oldest child, eldest daughters often feel like they’re shouldering not only their own responsibilities but also those of younger siblings and parents.
The result is a cycle of self-criticism, burnout, and anxiety. Therapists suggest that awareness is key to breaking this cycle. By recognizing the role that over-responsibility plays in their lives, eldest daughters can start setting boundaries and rewriting their role to align with their current values and goals.
This process requires inner-child work, self-compassion, and gentleness towards oneself. Finding ways to soften and comfort one’s inner child, such as treating themselves to long-held desires or finding a trusted confidant outside of the family system, can help eldest daughters break free from perfectionism and develop healthier relationships with themselves and others.
By acknowledging the pressures placed upon them and taking steps to address these issues, eldest daughters can begin to create a more balanced and fulfilling life that prioritizes their own needs and happiness.
Source: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/eldest-daughters-happiness-therapist-goog_l_68f10b75e4b061265b2bdb2e/amp