Relationships
7 Stages in the Death of a Relationship
Magical thinking, distraction, and not solving problems eventually catch up.
Key points:
– Many relationships reach a tipping point after years of built-up resentments and unsolved problems.
– The key to prevention is regularly taking stock of the relationship and tackling problems as they arise.
– Regularly step back and take stock of the relationship: How are we doing really? Are we feeling connected?
– Tackle the problems that you both have been avoiding. Sit down and come up with a win-win plan to put problems to rest.
You rationalize, thinking your partner will change if you just give them another chance or dismiss issues as temporary stress.
You engage in magical thinking, believing that if you do everything right, your partner will change too.
You shift focus, diverting attention from the relationship to other aspects of life like work or kids.
Over time, you’ve changed and so has the relationship. You realize it’s no longer working, but you’re unsure what to do.
Eventually, the relationship reaches its emotional bottom line. You fantasize about another partner or a different life.
Conflicts increase, causing distance or arguments over whose reality is right.
You issue an ultimatum or take action, seeking separation, counseling, or a new start.
The old relationship has died, and it’s time to rebuild.
The moral of the story: Prevention. Stop rationalizing, magical thinking, distraction, and avoidance.
To avoid getting to this point, regularly:
– Take stock of your relationship.
– Identify what you need most now.
– Tackle problems together, rather than complaining or arguing about the past.
– Speak up and do something about it.
Stop avoiding and take action.+
+Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fixing-families/202407/7-stages-in-the-death-of-a-relationship