As a black woman in her late 20s, embracing your pansexuality and exploring your “slut era” can be liberating. However, you may have noticed that many Gen Xers and Millennials tend to prioritize getting to know someone before going all-in. This is not uncommon, as the typical approach involves exchanging face pictures or meeting in a public space before intimate encounters.
If you identify as demisexual, you might still want to acknowledge your desire for some level of connection. But it’s essential to remember that wanting to get to know someone before sex is not atypical. Instead, focus on building mindfulness and presence in the moment. Experiment with different techniques until you find one that resonates with you.
When navigating relationships with your body, consider highlighting the parts you appreciate and using mindfulness skills when discussing them. You can also adopt a “fake it till you make it” approach by focusing on your positive features. While not everyone will notice or comment on these aspects, most people tend to appreciate the person as a whole rather than just their physical appearance.
To meet new people, consider attending community events during your preferred social hours, using dating apps, or asking friends if they know anyone compatible with you. Remember that it’s okay to take things at your own pace and prioritize your comfort level.
Source: https://slate.com/advice/2025/06/sex-advice-promiscuity-era-experience.html