Covert narcissists often do not give closure after a breakup, instead using indirect methods to reestablish proximity while maintaining distance. This can include using burner accounts or proxy numbers on social media to watch and monitor their ex’s life without being directly detected.
Covert narcissism is characterized by subtle control, emotional dependency, and plausible deniability, making it challenging to pinpoint their behavior. However, once the relationship ends and boundaries are asserted, they may resort to cruel behaviors, including covert reactive aggression.
To reassert power without appearing “bad,” covert narcissists often weaponize vulnerability, such as giving the silent treatment or creating a toxic rebound situation where they appear used or mistreated by their new partner.
Covert narcissists may also use indirect contact to destabilize their ex, creating uncertainty and hypervigilance. This can include missed calls from familiar area codes or anonymous comments that feel too personal to be random.
Another common behavior is strategic disappearance, where covert narcissists will intermittently disappear after a smear campaign or risk of exposure. They may resurface with ambiguous gestures or comments, hinting at remorse without taking responsibility.
The lack of closure is also a hallmark of covert narcissistic abuse. Covert narcissists often leave conversations unresolved, withhold explanations, and deliver callous directives to “move on” without repair or empathy.
Covert narcissistic abuse can be especially damaging because it accumulates through confusion, contradiction, deniability, reenacting shared moments with the new supply, surveillance, and self-doubt. By understanding these tactics, survivors can regain clarity, autonomy, self-trust, and peace.
Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-ptsd/202602/common-post-breakup-behaviors-of-covert-narcissists