In a world where kindness is often performed for social currency, it’s easy to get confused between genuine good deeds and those that are merely strategic. A woman who was once considered her closest work friends suddenly vanished when she needed encouragement during a transition. She discovered that the women who praised her supportiveness were not always genuinely invested in her well-being.
Research by Yale researchers shows that while some women are more altruistic than others, not all altruism is created equal. Some perform goodness for social gain or to maintain an image, while truly good people act from a place of choice, not obligation or performance.
True goodness comes from a different place and doesn’t calculate return on investment. It shows up especially when showing up is hard, without expecting anything in return. To recognize genuine goodness, look for moments where someone is present with you even when it’s inconvenient, or when they’re exhausted but still find ways to show care.
Mistaking performative goodness for the real thing can be devastating, leading to trust issues and cynicism about all kindness. It takes conscious effort to rebuild faith in authentic human connection, but recognizing genuine goodness can transform relationships and ensure that goodness comes from an authentic place rather than a need for recognition or reciprocation.
Source: https://vegoutmag.com/lifestyle/a-t-f-psychology-says-the-difference-between-a-truly-good-woman-and-a-woman-performing-goodness-shows-up-in-one-specific-moment-and-most-people-never-notice-it-until-they-need-something-shes-under-no