As I watched my six-year-old daughter Millie hand me an index card with the words “I am sad and I do not know why,” I felt the weight of her unspoken emotions settle on me. It was a moment that made me realize I wasn’t just a mom, but a guardian of our family’s mental health history.
Growing up, my mother struggled with addiction, overdoses, and anxiety after her mother tried to take her own life when she was 9 years old. Her experiences left her in and out of mental health facilities for many years. As a result, I often wonder what it did to her, wanting to fall apart but having to keep it together.
This realization sparked a journey of self-discovery, as I delved into the concept of “emotional inheritance.” Research suggests that trauma can be passed down through families, shaping the emotional lives of next generations. This idea resonated with me, not in a clinical way, but in the way truth sometimes echoes in your bones.
I began to explore how past experiences and traumas can echo through our family histories, influencing our parenting styles and emotional well-being. I spoke with experts like psychoanalyst Galit Atlas and neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda, who shed light on the biological and psychological dimensions of this phenomenon.
As a parent, I feel both responsible for my children’s emotional well-being and powerless to protect them from their inherited trauma. However, I also believe that healing can be passed down through generations.
I’ve come to understand that my role is not just to shield my kids from hard feelings but to normalize them, name them, and make space for them. This means having open conversations about emotions, validating their feelings, and helping them develop resilience.
Millie’s index card was a gift – a chance to respond, say “Sadness is OK,” and let her know she’s not alone. I realized that we can soften the cycle of trauma by offering presence, listening, and support.
As I move forward as a mom, I promise to face feelings with my children, rather than shying away from them. We’ll talk about emotions, seek help when needed, and navigate the complexities of emotional inheritance together.
Source: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/six-year-old-note-emotional-inheritance_n_68bdac45e4b0b40e31a83ec8