Our sense of identity can feel like a tight script we’re stuck with – it’s a narrative we’ve rehearsed so many times that it becomes second nature. However, psychologist Adam Phillips suggests that this sense of self may not be as stable as we think. According to Freud and Phillips, our identities are often false, and maintaining them requires effort and willpower.
Our identity develops from experiences of exclusion – being left out by loved ones or society at large. This can happen in childhood when parents inevitably shut us down during intimate moments with family members. To cope, children may find new interests that gain attention and validation from others, forming a sense of self through these interactions.
However, as we mature, our preferred identities can become outdated or exhausting to maintain. We might outgrow our passions or feel like we’re performing a version of ourselves for the world to see, rather than being true to who we are. This can lead to feelings of depression and exhaustion if we cling too tightly to these identities.
Rather than trying to preserve a narrow sense of self, perhaps it’s time to let go of earlier versions and discover new parts of ourselves. By doing so, we may find a more authentic and energizing way to present ourselves to the world. A shift in language is needed – one that moves beyond the notion of identity and instead focuses on our genuine selves.
While maintaining a sense of self can be essential for development, it’s also crucial to recognize its limitations and potential pitfalls. By acknowledging these flaws and taking risks, we may uncover new aspects of ourselves and find a more fulfilling way to live life.
Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/our-devices-our-selves/202602/identity-fatigue